another useless update ^^

so yeah... wanted to do this in a long time but, coulnd't figure out what to write so be warned this journal may contain violent language, whining and randomness change of subjects xD.

do you know that time when you'r to tired to sleep because a lot of things is going around in you'r head, well that's almost every night for me.
I keep thinking about all different kind of things, like what the next day will bring, do i loose weight, what about my love life, do i make my friends happy, can i make that before this, how do i do this, what will happen if i do that, and stuff like that.

As some of you know i had a work accident for about 3 month ago. My left foot was badly damaged when a metal gate was dropped on my foot, and yes i was wearing safety shoes it just hit wrong -.-
so yeah i went to the hospital and was told that in 5 days my foot would be healed and i could work again, i just needed to rest my foot, so i went to SvS con in a wheelchair so i could transport myself around at the convention without being to tired.
But my foot didn't get better, so we talked to the doctor a lot and went out on the hospital a few times to, but no one could tell me what was fucking wrong with my foot. (and they still fucking can't) The one thing that pisses me of is what i'm allowed to do and what i'm not allowed to do when i'm "sick". and they can't tell me what's wrong... I had a doctor tell me that maybe i should think about another education because the damage to my foot could be there forever interfering with my work, and that's not funny because i already have problems with both knees -.-
So im sitting everyday waiting for someone to call me up telling me im going to get my foot scanned or that they know whats wrong.
And if that wasn't bad enough my families vacation was ruined because of me -.- Oh and after the injury my left leg started to turn Purple and blue sometimes, and then my leg is really cold, but im not freezing and lately it hurts like hell when my leg does that, when it changes collor. But no one can tell me whats wrong, no fuuucking doctor can tell me and it pisses me of, i don't even know when i will be declared healthy again. I know nothing what so ever...
And i really hate people staring at me because of that crazy boot thing that should help my foot. i kinda look like a cyborg something, and i'd rather have people look at me in cosplay than this.. i really don't like it, but the boot thing helps me walk and the doctor said i have to walk with it until i can walk on my foot again. But the worst thing is that we had to get the wheelchair, crutches and the boot thing by our self, the freaking hospital didn't give me anything, fucking jerks -.- i do not trust doctors or hospitals anymore... (Looking forward to having a baby one day -.-).

But hey, it's not only been sad times since last update. I'v got some pretty amazing friendship established. I love you guys <3
I have been to many cosplay walks really enjoying my hobby, talked to new people visited new people. Arh all the money i spend on train trips around my country but all worth it... if you look away from that single trip where me and my friend took the wrong train and ended up another place and had to take the next train back paying for another ticket -.- well adventure times <3
Oh and role-play im going to join in on that as well so exited ^^

Right know i'm having a major x men flip, most i know is really into marvel but because of the Avengers movie that played in the cinema not long ago... I must say i was pretty exited at first, and im going to cosplay Thor at some point together with my friend as loki, have been decided for a long time now. But yeah avengers are cool but i still love x men more ^^. Just bought the x men PlayStation 3 game, and i flipped my shit when i saw Mystique and Nightcrawler and magneto <3 so much love to those characters. And bought a mystique marvel comics for overprice i must admit, and i want the other half of it so badly but it was 25 dollars and that's a bit spicy for a price of a comic so only bought one of them D_D
Im going to cosplay Mystique in so many different clothes, i really adore her. i Think she's my favorite, and she have always been my favorite. But there are so many cool characters. So many lovely characters <3

Genki is soon and im going to perform a skit, im looking forward to it so much (: and im scared on the other hand as well, what if things go wrong and stuff... but i'll just have to wait and see for my self ... just writing about it gives me chills and butterflies in my stomach.

Pretty awesome movies i'v seen in the cinema since last time have been, The Amazing spider man~it was so cool xD, The Dark Knight rises ~ so freaking awesome, The Avengers ~ super cool i think the movie i'v seen the most times, and Men in Black 3 ~ garwd so good and i wanna cosplay Griffin because i love him and you only see him for about 15 min. of the movie but what the heck

One of my friends littlesis made me a scalemate ^^ he's so cute and i named him Xylouh and nickname Vodka (:

But so many things have happend and i cant tell about every single little thing -.-

I'm still in love with a special person and being together with this person makes my day, just watching the person smile... my fucking feelings * dead*
I'm just afraid that i'm going on the persons nerves at the moment, but i just wants to see the person smile and be happy nothing else, i really just want the best for the person no matter what...<3

Bah... Meh!

I miss riding, my horse retired before Christmas so i haven't ridden since the end of march, and i really really misses her and riding again.

I wanna work in a middleage village as one of those role players that have to walk around pretending to live in that year wearing the clothes and making people smile and giving them a great visit and a really good holiday. and i'm really looking forward to starting at roleplay it's going to be so much fun and awesome ^^

who cares about my journals ...
I feel loved but i just thinks that no one cares about what i write here... i could be writing stuff like unicorns poop apples because 8 + purple gives faires because santa visited the moon in juli the frog. and no one cared ;-;

I REALLY MISS SOME PEOPLE MORE THAN OTHERS, and i'm sorry i haven't talked to you lately have just been meh
Even my tumblr has been silent for some time now... im probably loosing followers...
I'ts just not working that well for me but i keep fighting, let's see how long i last shall we ^^ without a couch or a physe therapist...

i think i'll better stop writing now because i don't know what else to say...
I love everyone of my friends... well almost everyone and even if i do not talk to you that much doesn't mean i hate you, i still love you ^^ and i appreciate you being here in the world, i appreciate being able just to write to you a few times listening to how your life is going and how you have been lately and just smile at jokes and stuff (:

cee ya
Feles out of here
Luckas over and out ~ thinking about dropping that name ^^ but do not know, time will show right (: